“Hear then the parable of the sower. When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart; this is what was sown on the path. As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet such a person has no root, but endures only for a while, and when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, that person immediately falls away. As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the lure of wealth choke the word, and it yields nothing. But as for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” Matthew 13: 18-23

I thought everyone knew this parable but I was wrong. I assumed too much. I thought that Felipe, Daniel, and Bruno have had similar experiences as I have had as a child. You know, being woken up early on Sunday, made to wear nice but strangely uncomfortable clothes and listening to the stories of the gospels told in a fashion that children could comprehend and coloring their illustrations on paper. It is easy to forget that they never really had homes, special clothes, or even concerned parents. Consequently, they never participated all these various aspects of our culture that we might take for granted. Their exposure to religion consisted of bits and pieces from the street preaching more concerned about hell than anything else.

We read the parable of the sower together with Felipe once. I started out saying that usually most of us are concerned with being the good soil. Then, Felipe surprised us. He told us that he has never heard of this parable before. He did not understand its meaning let alone the final bit about the good soil. Even the notion of a “parable” was a mystery to him. I guess discerning the different literary genres and sub-genres is not the top of the priority list of the homeless youth. Now, he is in a different place. He is feeling secure about himself. He is ready to embark on a journey of discovering all the good things the world has to offer. He wanted to know what exactly is a parable. To my surprise, I found myself fumbling around trying to find the precise words to explain its meaning. It wasn’t as easy as I thought.

I told him that it is a simple story using everyday things to explain a truth or a moral value. Then I realized why Felipe was confused with the parable of the sower. He spent all his life in the concrete jungle. His contact with nature is very limited. He has never had a father or uncle or grandfather that was into gardening like most of us. In fact, I am the first person he knows who cultivates plants. The concepts of good and bad soil does not resonate with him. As far as he is concern, they are all the same. Basically, all the imagery used in the parable was meaningless to him. Nevertheless, he was keen on knowing its meaning. I thought that it was my role to explain it to him. Unfortunately, my attempt bordered on being pathetic. I resorted to the traditional interpretation. As soon as I gave the answer, I realized that it was a mere automated response void of any reflection. The problem is that I assumed too much. The parable was indeed more difficult and complex than I initially thought. Felipe was kind enough to pretend that he understood my explanation. However, I have known him long enough to discern the signs of comprehension in his expressions.

Upon a closer reflection, I realized that there was many things that are unclear in this parable. The seed, for example, Jesus explains is the word of the Kingdom. Over the years, this has been reduced to doctrines and official teachings of the Church. However, none of these things were in existence when Jesus taught. Besides, the seed was suppose to be dynamic and produce a creative reaction in the soil. Over the years, I have seen that it is possible to accept dynamic doctrines without generating any life-giving fruits. This, of course, brings up a second problem. Jesus mentions the good soil bearing much fruits. Anyone concerned about this parable always desires to be this kind of soil. Unfortunately, many churches have defined fruits according to their doctrines too. For many years, I was convinced that it meant bringing souls into the Kingdom. However, we don’t bring anyone into the Kingdom of God. It is never an ability bestowed upon us. Only the Holy Spirit is able to illume souls with the divine knowledge of God’s love. Our words and arguments are powerless without the Holy Spirit. If anything, they can be a distraction. I have also been taught that bearing fruits means producing without any clear idea what production means. I suppose that it means religious works or charitable works. The Pharisees were good at doing such things and yet Jesus said that they were barren, actually he even mentions something much worse such as being a “child of hell.” Being productive religiously may not necessarily mean that we are being fruitful.

Every weekend, we meet with Felipe in a square near where we both live. We read the Bible together and talk about what it means and have a short prayer time. In other words, it is our church service. It is a little different than what we are used to but it is a gathering of two or three in His Name. I have to say that it is one of my best congregations. After writing this, we will meet with Felipe. It is going to be my second chance to share this parable in a way that it connects with him. For him, the thing that he understands the best is relationship. It was the only wealth he possessed in the streets. It helped him overcome many hardships and feeling of abandonment. He perceives the world through his relationships. They are his teachers, his church and his everything. In reality, this is true for all of us too but sometimes we allow other things to confuse us. Felipe possesses nothing but relationships in this world. If he is going to understand anything truth, it has to be presented in the context of a relationship.

The seed is none other than our Lord offering Himself to us. God does not impose Himself on anyone but He offers Himself in doses that we are able to handle. Some people are given the opportunity to meet Him. Maybe He comes to them through a person that displeases them. They reject Him without giving a second thought. There are others who receive Him and then don’t bother to go further with the relationship. They enjoy the idea of meeting Jesus in whatever form He represents Himself. However, they never go beyond the superficial to truly enjoy the wealth that is found in Him. Then there are others who receive Him but they think that they can serve both God and Mammon. Eventually, the latter takes priority over the former. Finally, there are the ones who receive Him readily without any conditions. They don’t expect Him to act in their favor always. They just accept Him as He presents Himself. They are always open to see Him present in anyway or anyone whom He chooses to manifest Himself. With time, they are able to discern His presence in the lives of the other as they make themselves available to others. Their lives become richer and they make the lives of others around richer too. They may never produce as the world thinks a productive person should be. Nevertheless, everyone who meets them cannot help but feel that something new has been created in their souls.

I think Felipe will understand this because each Sunday when we meet with and pray with him. We go home feeling something new has been created in our innermost being. I recently wrote to a friend mentioning this very interesting detail. We came here initially to minister to these homeless children and teens but, in the end, we are the ones who go home each day richer than ever. Albeit, I can’t say that this is true for all of them. I don’t want to paint a romanticized picture of reality here. There are all kinds of soil among the homeless but when you meet with good soil like Felipe or Bruno or Daniel or Aline, you cannot leave without feeling enriched.

It is almost time for church now. Our congregation of one is waiting for us at our usual place. I can’t wait to read this parable with Felipe.

Bruno has matured as a beggar. It is not that he has become better asking for money. He never had any problems in that department. After all, he is a highly intelligent young man. Among all the teens, he is the best at begging. He always receives more than he needs and shares it around. He also receives tons of clothes which he never refuses but he never seems to use. He used to keep some of them in our house and then eventually forgot them altogether. Now, he gives them away to families living in the streets. He has developed an excellent technique for begging.

He loves movies but not just any movies; only the ones that have been nominated for the Oscars. He cites the winners since the fifties by memory. He likes to tell people that his favorite movie is “Sophie’s Choice”. This usually takes them by surprise. They never expect a homeless youth to like a movie of this calibre. His general knowledge on literature is not too bad. He likes to say that Mark Twain is his favorite even though he has never read anything by him. It never fails to impress people. He is not exactly lying. He really is interested in these things but not enough to pursue them more profoundly. He is happy to just to talk about it enough for people to see beyond his old and worn out clothes covered with food stains and unkept hair. He looks like he hasn’t seen the inside of shower for weeks. However, the other teens tell us that he washes his clothes regularly and takes daily showers. It is true. He does not emit any unpleasant odor. His look is deliberate. He knows that people are enchanted with a certain idea of a beggar. Therefore he plays the role they desire to see. It is his only way to become more visible. However, Bruno did not always dress or act this way.

Bruno used to dress up like a college student so we were told. He wore a polo shirt and long pants and carried a folder with his note book. He made every effort to look studious. Unfortunately, despite all his efforts, his appearance never gave him any visibility. No one took notice of him outside of our children. Besides, a well dressed black Brazilian living in the streets also draws the attention of the police. They always assume that the well-dressed ones are involved in crime. It seemed there was nothing Bruno could do to be visible.

He was put in an orphanage when he was six. His mother was too poor and had to make painful choice. She chose his sister over him. It is a choice that Bruno never forgot. It is story not unlike the movie, “Sophie’s Choice”. It killed something in Bruno. No doubt, he liked the orphanage. He really took advantage of the education he received there. Unfortunately, he knew that he would have to leave when he turned 18. By then, he had enough of rejections in his life. This time he decided to leave before he faced another. This is how he ended up in the streets.

He always tried to fit in. His mind was always actively learning about things to perhaps help him gain some recognition. Unfortunately, no one was interested in a homeless black teen who looked like a college student. He found out that the best way for him to survive in the streets was to become a beggar. He set his mind to this task. He observed other beggars and discovered that those who had pets drew more attention and subsequently more money. He adopted a dog and cat. He would sit outside a restaurant and supermarket with a book in his hand. This was enough to draw anyone’s attention. Suddenly, Bruno was visible in this world. He found out that in this tragic world, being a beggar is the best role afforded to him.

Bruno used to be extremely manipulative. Initially, people were more interested in the animals than in him. It seems this society is accustomed to young black youths living in the streets but not animals. They asked questions about the animals that looked extremely healthy and happy. The dog, incidentally, was rescued by the teens. It almost drowned in the canal when the teens risked their lives to save it. Felipe and Bruno took care of it for a long time. Bruno also rescued the kitten abandoned near a busy highway.

People were more concerned about the welfare of the animals than Bruno’s. Of course, being an intelligent person, he exploited the situation. He always managed to scrounge some money off almost everyone who stopped to pat the animals. Sometimes, it was quite embarrassing for us to see how he shamelessly took advantage of people. To a certain extent, it put a strain on our relationship for a short period. This was a few years ago. Like I said before, Bruno has matured as a beggar.

The years of being invisible has made Bruno sensible to people who are invisible like him. However, they may not be living in the streets. They live in apartments but they are no longer deemed important by society. These are the elderly people who once were mothers, grandmothers and even business owners. Now, they are discarded because of their age and illness or their incapability to do things that they once did very well. Once again, the animals are the point of contact between Bruno and these people.

When I visited Bruno in the streets last week, there was an elderly woman talking with him. He immediately wanted to introduce me to this woman. She was a little shy and hardly spoke to me. Bruno later told me that she comes to him and talks to him quite frequently. She is quite elderly, maybe in her late eighties and lives on a limited income. No one cares for her, Bruno said. He receives nothing from her except her undivided attention and he returns the favor. He looks forward to her visit everyday even if it is for only few minutes. Another elderly woman came by with cooked food for the dog and another plate of food for Bruno. She is another new friend that he just recently made. She lives alone too. She saw Bruno begging from her apartment window and went down to talk with him. She could not afford to give anything except what she makes for lunch. She always comes to have a chat with Bruno. Another woman came by and talked to him when I was there. She asked about the animals and before she left, Bruno stopped her and told her that he was grateful for her attention. The woman was obviously touched. This time Bruno wasn’t trying to be manipulative. He genuinely was thankful for her presence without expecting any monetary benefits.

There is something more sincere about Bruno now. He is making himself available to people who are just like him; the invisible ones. It is not a one way relationship. They are mutually blessed. Bruno is a beggar but he has become richer in ways very few people will realize. Perhaps only to those who are able to see beyond the young man begging there. He has definitely changed. I hope that one day he can find something better. It is a pity that such an intelligent young man like Bruno should resign himself to this role. He confessed that he hopes the same. This is not the lifestyle for anyone. In spite of this, he has discovered how to be available to people for whom no one has time to appreciate. Bruno went into begging to earn money but he ended up learning something valuable that most so-called well to do people never learn. I thank God for Bruno and not only him but the other children and teens like Felipe and Daniel for their availability. They open themselves up to receive others and in the end, they receive God’s abundant grace in their lives. It helps me understand the profound words of Jesus when He said,

“I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.”-Matthew 11:25-26

Jesus said, “Whoever welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. Whoever welcomes a prophet in the name of a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward; and whoever welcomes a righteous person in the name of a righteous person will receive the reward of the righteous; and whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple– truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward.” Matthew 10:40-42

It wasn’t what I expected but I wasn’t really sure what to expect.

We have been in quarantine for more than two months. It seems like ages. We knew that there were going to be some changes in the streets and our ministry. We have had contacts regularly with some of the teens during this period but this week it was time to venture back to the streets. I decided to try it on my own first. The opportunity came when Wallace called and said that he lost his documents. We had copies of some of them in our home. We arranged to meet in one of our regular spots. I was curious to see how things were in the streets.

Normally, two months of absence is not really anything to write home about. We have been away from the streets before for this time frame before. Mostly, life goes on as usual in our absence and then when we return we try to slip back into the routine. However, nothing is normal or regular with this pandemic. It appears like the whole world is on transition. Everything came to a pause of time standing still. Now, everyone is trying to scramble around to regain normalcy even though we are not sure if the time is right to do this. It appears that we are rushing to rescue something that may not be there anymore. We will never know unless we take the time to reflect before we act. Nevertheless, everything did appear to be like before. Stores were crowded. The streets were busy as usual. Everything looked exactly the same except that people were wearing masks. Yet, there was a subtle difference. Something has changed. As I was walking along a pedestrian strip, a delivery person on bicycle cycled swiftly past me and yelled, “Get out of the way, you imbecile!” Not quite the welcoming words that I was expecting. His harsh words penetrated my soul. He was a young man very much like our homeless teens. However, he was in the world and working. He needed to get somewhere fast. I was an obstacle in his path even though it was not a place for him to be riding a bicycle at such high speed. It did not matter to him. Only what he desired mattered and he wanted me to out of his way. Anyone in his way was an imbecile according to him. I just happened one of the many.

I waited for Wallace in the square where we used to work. Things have changed drastically here. Before the Pandemic, our teens were a small percentage of the homeless population; there were about hundred of them and the adults were at least five times more. Now, there were an overwhelming number of families with young children sleeping in tents in the streets. It was quite disturbing even though I should be more accustomed to these things by now. Unfortunately, this was beyond the norm. I am afraid that this is perhaps what is the new reality now.

There were tons of children under the age of five running around without any masks and their parents interacting with them in the same manner. None of these faces were familiar. These people are new arrivals to the streets. I imagine that the loss of employment and income coupled with the lack of support from the authorities has brought many of these families to the streets. I saw a father playing soccer with his young son. It would have been a pleasant scene in another time. However, you can see that he would rather be doing something else for his family. His face revealed signs of resignation. Nonetheless, he is holding on to his fatherhood. He gently kicked the ball to his son.

Everything looked chaotic and I felt a little uncomfortable. Not that I feared some kind of violence or anything of that sort. I just did not expect things to fall apart so quickly. Wallace did not show up. I found out later that he got confused with the time and had come earlier than the time we arranged. I wasn’t disappointed. It got me back to the streets. On my way there, I saw Bruno begging outside a fast-food restaurant. I went to see him instead.

I was planning to sneak up on him and surprise him. Unfortunately he spotted me first. He immediately stood and yelled out my name with a welcoming smile. He knew that we shouldn’t hug so he extended his elbow to me. This is our new “hug”. It was quite different welcome than the one I received from the cursing cyclist. Bruno’s reaction touched my soul in a different way. It gave me the feeling like I was at home again. He immediately asked, “Where’s Mary?” All the teens consider us as a family package. They feel something essential is missing when they just see one of us. I explained that everyone needs time to come to terms with the pandemic and Mary will be back when she is ready. Bruno understood without any hesitation. “These are strange times.” As usual, he bombarded me with questions. He wanted to know about the previous pandemics that the world has experienced. There was something going on in his mind. He was silent for a brief moment. I asked him what was his opinion about the present state. “It seems every period has to go through something disastrous as such.” This was his answer. It was a good one. He wanted to talk more. He said that he missed our times together. I made plans to meet with him again. He wanted me to assure Mary that when she comes to visit, he will wear a mask and practice social distancing. Then the police started showing up all geared up as for a war, The stores began their process of closing. No businesses are allowed to be open after 3 pm. It was strictly enforced.

On my way home, I ran into Aline and her new boyfriend. We have known her for a few years. She always has been a very open and sweet girl but we never really had any in-depth conversations. Nevertheless, it is always pleasant to see her. Her boyfriend, unfortunately, is part of the one of the dangerous gangs in the São Paulo. He smiled and was genuinely happy to see me even though we hardly know him. I don’t even know his name. He asked about Mary. I told them what I said to Bruno. Her boyfriend nodded and said, “Everyone needs time to feel safe.” It was quite amazing to see such a sincere and loving gesture from a young man who has been exposed to violence most of his life. It was quite different from the reaction I got from the cyclist. This young man will never shout at me, “Get out of the way, imbecile.” I hardly know him and yet he made my soul feel at home with him.

My walk back home was much more peaceful because the children and teens are always there ready to hand us a cup of water to refresh our souls. We are not obstacles in their way. We are people to them. I suppose this is what Jesus meant about being welcomed. In this sometimes hostile city, I always have been welcomed by these children and teens. In this time of isolation and quarantine, it is good to know that whenever we return to this place where homelessness and desperation seems to abound, there is also a place for us to call home in the hearts of these precious people. They are our reward in life and hopefully in some way, we are their reward too in this strange world.

“Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven.” Matthew 10:32-33

It is hard to describe the past two weeks. Our neighbor was infected with the virus bringing the reality of the pandemic right to our doorstep. We live in a relatively small building with only four apartments on each floor, sharing the same common area with our neighbors and also the elevator. Therefore, it was recommended that all of us remain in strict quarantine. For more than two weeks, we had hardly any contact with the rest of the world. Nevertheless, we could hear helicopters and police sirens to remind us of the civil unrest in the streets. There were the protests and riots. They happened all over the world and here they were due to the threat of a possible military dictatorship. It seems more imminent as the times goes by. As the news of our situation began to spread all the over world, a childhood friend from Singapore got in contact with me. He was concerned about our welfare and he asked the pivotal question, “Is this the end of times?” It seems like everything is falling apart. It’s possible that the end is near. No one can know for sure even though I have my doubts. Most likely it has always been like this and we are just beginning to see how things as they really are. Maybe more of us are seeing what some people have experienced their whole lives. Everything is coming out into the open. This may not be necessarily bad. It might be the first step towards the Truth.

The first few chapters of Genesis give us more information of our humanity than any news media or political analyst. Not because these are not good sources of information, they just don’t see beyond the superficial. Religious myth goes deeper into the depth of our humanity. Adam and Eve are not just our distant parents. They mirror us, ancient and modern human beings. They testify to our desire to usurp God’s place in our lives and in this world. The world was perfect, according to the story, with perfect harmony in nature. However, humanity was not satisfied until everything was under their dominion without giving any role to God. Cain and Abel tell us how we cannot stand it when our brother or sister is considered better than us. We would rather see them destroyed than let them be more successful than us. In the Flood narrative, we are warned how easy it is for us to be so lost in our willful desires that we fail to see the signs of our self-destructive habits. The tower of Babel reveals the deep rooted desire in humanity to stretch the limits of their power and knowledge without acknowledging God.

Human desire to be god is greater than our desire to live in a harmonious world. This is the reality in which we find ourselves. This is our weakness as human beings although some might consider it their strength. Despite what we think, we know in our hearts that we are not god. We might feed on lies telling us that we can do everything. The result is what we are seeing now; this present turmoil in the world. Gratefully, we are assured that the situation is not hopeless. It is exactly in this kind of circumstance that Jesus tells to acknowledge His presence before all peoples. We have to be careful here. We are humans who can take powerful and life transforming words and twist them until they become banal. I know because I have done this before. After all, I live in this world too and I share humanity’s desires to be god. I have the ability to reduce these powerful words of Jesus to superficial acknowledgement of Jesus in this world so His divinity and authority has no influence in my actions. I did it many times even when I served as missionary to the children and teens. Now, it is time for a change. Not a mere change but a total and utter transformation. I have to figure out what Jesus is asking of us when He told us to acknowledge Him in this world. There are only two options available to us. Either we acknowledge Him or deny Him. However, before we proceed, it is good to heed the words of Jesus when He said,

“For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:20)

Being religious is not the same as acknowledging Jesus’ presence in this world. The Pharisees were extremely religious yet Jesus tells us that we need to be better than them. Therefore, we need to look elsewhere to learn how to acknowledge the presence of Jesus in this world. If we look at another fellow human being, we know it will be just a question of time before we will be disappointed. After all, we are all the same and subjected to the corruption and deceitfulness of this world. Therefore, we need some serious help. There is no simple solution that is going to work for everyone. Maybe this is the best place to start. Spiritual laws or practices cannot be universally applied to all peoples in any situation or time. It is incumbent on each individual to seek what it means to be His testimony in this world.

Thankfully, Jesus did not just leave us without any aid. He lived His life as a constant testimony of God’s love. He served those whom the world neglected and continues to neglect. He did not take His place among the kings and high priests of His society. He did not choose reality from their perspective. Instead He made His bed with those whom society considered as worthless, or rather, whose lives did not seem matter. He ignored the “generous” donations of rich patrons of the temple and paid attention to the sacrificial contribution of a nameless poor woman. He ignored the rich man and honored the beggar, Lazarus in his parable. He acknowledged the unconditional love of the Samaritan instead of the bulwarks of religion of His time. The list is long and it is all there in the gospels. Therefore, we have to heed the words of Jesus when He tells us, “A disciple is not above the teacher, nor a slave above the master.” This only means that the people He chose to be with and support and heal are the ones whom the disciples should seek to be in His Kingdom.

Jesus has given us a powerful and life transforming example to follow. An example to serve us in all times and seasons. An example to help us in our consideration on how we are going to act in the situation in which we find ourselves. Presently, we find ourselves in a time and place where sickness and injustice and utter disregard for the human life are seemingly becoming the norm. In this environment, we have to move in the opposite direction. We cannot seek to maintain the peace and ignore anti-Christ attitudes. It is a time for prayer and courage to act and live in a way that acknowledges the presence of Jesus in our lives. We hope that at the end of the day, Jesus will also joyfully acknowledge us before the Father.

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place.  Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.  They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them.  All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. Acts 2:1-4

Henry appeared to have everything. Born into wealth, he had expensive taste, was good-looking and always kept company with people who were just like him. He had one major concern. He wanted things to remain as they were. To ensure this, he needed money, more than what he had. It was no surprise that when he discovered a curious book in his friend’s library his thoughts immediately began conjecturing all possible means of earning countless cash. The book was a scientific document of a bizarre kind entitled, “A Report on a man who can see without using his eyes.” It was a testimony of an English doctor who encountered a circus performer in India who was able to see while securely blindfolded. This man learned this skill from a Hindu sage. It occurred as an accident. He was trying to gain some spiritual enlightenment through meditation. He was supposed to spend hours just focusing on one thing. After years of doing this, he unexpectedly discovered that his mind could see beyond the object of his focus, or rather see through it. Unfortunately, greed made him dispense his spiritual quest and he used this skill to earn a living for himself. Henry was not interested in any spirituality. He just wanted to make millions at the Black Jack table. Now, if he had this capability, he would able to see the numbers of the cards before they are turned over. He would make a killing. That was it. His greed convinced him that this was the way to go.

It took longer than he expected; ten years to be precise. With trained concentration, he was to see the numbers of the cards face down with his mind. He did not waste any time. He went immediately to the black jack table at the local casino. He was careful. He intentionally lost the first few hands in order not to arouse any suspicion. Then he employed his newly gained talent. He saw the numbers clearly. He took risks which no one would ever dare because they did not his posses his skill. There was no stopping him. He made thousands of dollars that night. No doubt he had to discipline himself to stop in order not to arouse any suspicion. He collected all his winnings in a large bag and went back to his apartment. He sat on his bed and looked at all the cash. Strangely, he felt empty. It was not what he expected. He was a little disappointed actually. He felt absolutely nothing. No joy, no peace.

He went out to the balcony to smoke. It was early in the morning and the streets were filled with people scurrying along about their business. He took a hundred dollar note and released it. It floated gently down and landed on the sidewalk. No one noticed it. Everyone was too busy to notice anything peculiar except for an older man out for a stroll. He picked it and looked around to see if he could find its rightful owner. Then Henry yelled out to him, “Its mine! You can have it!” “You’re sure?” “Yes! Enjoy!” “Well, thank you very much!” The old man went on his way. Then Henry took the whole bag and tossed all the money. All the hundred dollar bills floated down as if they came from the heavens. This time everyone noticed. They were running after the bills, some laughing and some pushing others away to grab hold as many bills as they could get their hands on. Henry enjoyed watching the whole scene. There was a strange feeling of relief and maybe a slight sensation of joy. Then, there was a knock. He opened it and there was a policeman who obviously annoyed. “Are you the one who threw out all the money?” “Yes. It is my money and I don’t believe that I committed a crime.” “Well, it’s a shame that you are so frivolous with your money. I grew in an orphanage. There were days we wished that someone could have helped us with the kind of money you just dispatched out of your window.” The policeman turned and walked away. Henry was changed forever. He knew what he needed to do. He finally found a way to be a wealthy man without any need of money. He died as one without a single cent to his name.

Roald Dahl wrote this story. It is called “The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar”. This week I went to bed thinking about the biblical text for the day of Pentecost and I woke up remembering this story. I never realized it. This is a story of the Pentecost because it is a story of Hope.

Henry put all his eggs in one basket just like us. Reasoning from his life experiences, he came to the conclusion of what he believed to be a happy and fulfilling life. It is what we all do. We can only use the resources available to us to decide what is the best possible life for us. Henry was one of the privileged ones. He chose according to his exclusive lifestyle. Our children and teens come from the other extreme. They chose accordingly to what was available to them. Most of us reading this did exactly the same. We decide what we believe to be the best life and we put all our efforts into achieving it. The problem is that we are all sinful people. It doesn’t mean that we are wicked people. Being sinful means we don’t see things clearly. We only have a blurred vision of what is good and right for us. We have a deficient view of happiness. We see everything according to our limited resources, but life is much greater than what is before us. Henry, in the story, was able to see with his eyes but yet he was still blind to what was important to him. Many of us can’t say that we have this skill but we may say that we are brought up in the faith or we have been lifelong church people. We might even say that we have some religious experience that makes see beyond what is represented before us. All these things might be good. St Paul tells us that he had all these things and yet he was still blind, He was still driven by hatred. In the end, we find ourselves in the same place as Henry and perhaps like the apostles in the day of Pentecost as they waited in the upper room. We end up in a place where we confront all our achievements and realize that they do not bring the peace and happiness we expected. We sit there wondering, “Is there something more to this?” The best we could do is submit ourselves to superficial acts which might bring some brief relief to our souls. However, we need something more than this. We need to hear a voice that would lift us above the present and help us transcend the situation we find ourselves. We need the Holy Spirit.

For many years, my reflection had been restricted to the gift of tongues. However, we live in a strange season where everything seems to be on the brink of collapse. Everything is changing including how we interact with our children and teens. Our teens are asking for our companionship because they want to talk. They want to know how to live their lives in this particular time where everything seems uncertain and chaotic. We don’t have the answers. This is new to us as well. However, we know that there is a voice that will come and give us the wisdom to transcend what we see with our eyes. We know this because it has happened once and it continues to occur wherever hopelessness seem to dominate.

The Holy Spirit will come to help us discover hope even in the worst possible situation and circumstance. This is the everlasting message of the Day of Pentecost.

When he had said this, as they were watching, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. While he was going and they were gazing up toward heaven, suddenly two men in white robes stood by them. They said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking up toward heaven? This Jesus, who has been taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven. – Acts 1:9-11

And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one.- John 17:11

This world is broken. It has nothing to do with what is happening now. It has been this way for a long time; since the day when humanity took a bite of the forbidden fruit, they have never stopped trying to replace God. Ever since then, they followed the footsteps of Cain and have murdered their own mothers, sisters, brothers and fathers in many different ways. They continue to oppress each other with their imposing towers of power and authority. Nevertheless, they always come tumbling down. Maybe the towers we have constructed recently are being shaken and slowly bit by bit the pieces are inevitably falling down. We will never know until when it is all done. It is not something new. It has always been like this even when Jesus was walking among His disciples. Although, He brought something new and refreshing to those who despaired at the way things were. His followers knew this world was broken and they believed that perhaps Jesus would fix it. Instead, He died on the Cross, another victim of this broken world. The Resurrection ushered something new. It brought hope to their souls again. There was something beyond this broken world. However, His ascension must have been confusing to his disciples. After all, they barely recovered from the trauma of the Cross and now their Lord was ascending and leaving them. Once again they stood alone in this broken world. Jesus promised the Holy Spirit. Personally, I would have preferred if Jesus just remained with us. He was just like us; a material being and the Spirit is immaterial. It is hard to feel secure and safe with a presence that I cannot see. The disciples understood this. They stood there and watched the Lord ascend in the air and vanish into an immaterial world. I imagined that it was a little disappointing. Even Jesus understood this dilemma. He prayed for the Father to protect them. They are in the world but they do not belong to this world.

When I was first exposed to this ministry to the homeless, I was a very young man. I was prone to believe that everything could be solved with a simple solution. I was convinced that the problem of homelessness was solely addiction. I thought drugs were the demon destroying the lives of these people. I worked for five years with this mindset, refusing to listen or see what was before me. I was blinded by own convictions. Then I took a short break from the ministry and came back to it a few years later. I changed my outlook. I remained naive and stubborn. I just changed convictions. I thought the problem was social injustice coupled with addiction. Both times, I stood and studied the situation as an outsider. I needed to step back and return for the third time. This time I was a little older and maybe wise enough to know that life is too complex for simplistic solutions. Besides, I realized that I don’t have the answers. Then I heard the voices of despair. It wasn’t addiction or poverty that brought people young and old to the streets. If these were the only problems, then a clinical treatment and political activism could solve it. The problem is much more profound. This world is broken and doesn’t want to change. The solutions being offered are broken solutions, perpetuating the destructive pattern of this age. There are many who are perfectly content in this environment. They like to maintain things as they are. They become its servants and advocates. I count myself among them. I was content in my world and I shut my eyes to its brokenness. This time I was forced to open my eyes and understand why people turn to drugs and even crime. They don’t believe that the world has anything positive to offer to them anymore. They don’t believe in this broken world. However despite this, they refuse to choose death. Something in them has convinced them that there might still be hope, but not from this world. Perhaps in the One who ascended into sky. They are in the streets looking up and wondering if they will ever see Him again.

The quarantine has changed everything. We don’t know where the children and teens are anymore. They are not in one determined location like before. However, they know where we are. They call us and we meet them separately in an open area. All of us wear masks and we communicate our sentiments through our eyes. One of the girls, who decided to go home, told us that things were going from bad to worse. They went back to their home and initially everything seemed to be fine. For a brief moment, it appeared as if their escape to the streets was maybe an irrational mistake in the past. Unfortunately, everything is returning to the way it used to be and these girls are no longer safe in the place which should have been haven. They are looking for a small place to rent in the slums. We have promised them that we would help. They need to be safe from the pandemic as well as from abuse
. For a moment there, we wanted to believe that everything would work out for these young women. Regrettably, the world is still broken and the pandemic is not going to fix it. They returned to this unsafe environment because it is the only place for them now. The amazing thing is that they are not in despair. They have hope even if it appears like everything is falling apart.

The world is broken and everyone has known this for a long time. Buddha, Socrates, Plato and many great spiritual leaders and thinkers have warned us. They taught us to look beyond this broken world for hope and happiness. Some recommended that we retreat within ourselves to discover this hope. Jesus ascended for the whole world to see that the hope comes from beyond our reality and brokenness. He wanted us to look beyond ourselves for hope. His ascension was not an abandonment but an extension of His availability to all peoples. His Kingdom was not restricted to any geographic location nor any historic moment. His domain is the sky where everyone in every part of the world has access. However, only those who are discontent with this present world will be watching the skies to see an answer comes from it. It would have been great if Jesus remained with us in flesh and blood. However, this would have restricted Him. There are people all over the world in despair and pain, They sense the abandonment and loneliness that comes from this broken world. They are searching for an answer. Something that will help them make sense of their very own existence. When they look to the sky for a response, the Ascended Christ will be waiting for them.

Recently, Felipe started reading books. He felt moved to produce his own words. He wrote something simple and gave it to us as a gift. We want to share it with you.

“Brothers and sisters, know this one thing. If you decide to walk away from God, He will never walk away from you. If you decide not to believe in God, He will never decide to stop believing in you. If you feel yourself being dragged down into darkness, God’s angels will guide you back to His Light. Know that everything that happens to you, God uses them to draw you closer to Him. Never forget no matter happens, God’s angels never abandon you!”

He wrote this because this was his experience when he was homeless alone in the streets since the age of 8. He ran away to the streets because he suffered spiritual and physical abuse at home. He knew that this world was broken. However, when he looked up to the sky, he saw the Ascended Christ promising him that there is Hope regardless of the brokenness of this world. It is this hope that will sustain all those who are discontent with the false promises of this world.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?”-John 14:1-5

My first parish came with a parsonage. It was a beautiful house, bigger than anywhere we had ever lived. It was also fully furnished. The living room came with everything that a couple would need to get started. Maybe there was some exaggeration as well. It shared the same compound as the church which we appreciated. It was surrounded by a beautiful garden and even came with two of the best natured dogs. We fell in love with the dogs immediately. As for the house, it never became our home. There was nothing wrong with it. We were never miserable in it. We enjoyed having our morning coffee sitting on the porch with our dogs. Besides all this, it never was our home. It did not belong to us. It was full of memories of past priests and maybe there wasn’t room for us. Sometimes one of the parishioner would drop for a visit, something we encouraged and enjoyed and she or he would say, “I remember this sofa. We had many good times with it when it was in my grandmother’s house.” Another would say, “That chair over there was my late father’s favorite chair.” Everyone had some emotional connection to this house except us. Needless to say, I did not stay long at the parish. Not because it was a difficult place. It was like any other parish. We made some good friends. Some were not too crazy about me. The dogs …they will always be our favorite dogs. We needed something else to make it our home. It helped us understand our children and teens. It takes more than comfort and luxury to make a home. Most of them would not be able to answer exactly what they needed. I wouldn’t have been able to say it too. I was only aware that I was not at home. Jesus tells us that there is a perfect home for us. He Himself prepared it. We just need to find it.

Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” John 14:6-7

I memorized this verse in my mid teens. I was taught that it was an excellent evangelistic tool to assert the exclusivity of Christ for the means of salvation, but I never really felt comfortable using it this way. Not because I don’t believe it. I do believe that Christ is our way of salvation. I wouldn’t be a Christian if I thought otherwise. However, this was answer Jesus gave to the apostle Thomas when he asked for the way to his eternal home. The apostle was a follower of Jesus. He left everything to be with his disciples. He did not need to be convinced of the exclusivity of Jesus. He lived it. However, he wanted to know if he could find what Jesus was proposing: a place where he could truly be at peace. Jesus gave this answer. Still it does not make it easy to find our eternal abode. Some have given up and settled for something less than perfect. They have postponed their occupancy of this house that Jesus promised for the afterlife. However, Thomas wanted to see in the here and now. The house that Jesus prepared for us is here in our eternal reality which includes our past, present and future.

It seems like we are going to stuck in our apartment for another month, maybe even longer. I can’t complain. Everything in this apartment is full of memories that belong only to us. Thankfully, there is still room for many. However, the empty chairs at the dining table where our friends used to talk with us over coffee remind me that there is still something missing. We are at home but at the same time, we are learning that our home has nothing to do with our apartment. It has to do with the relationships that we have constructed in this place. We feel at home but right now, something is missing.
Then the phone rang. It was Erica. She and Kwanna came to the center of the city to get some groceries that a church was giving away. Now they don’t have money to take the bus back to their mother’s house. We arranged to meet them at our usual place.

It was nice to see them again. They looked well. Kwanna had asked me to bring a book for her. She has started to read again which is a good thing. She is an intelligent young woman who was never given the opportunity to develop herself. This quarantine is giving her back the desire to read again. Their home life is far from ideal. In fact, it could be dangerous. She came from a complicated past and her home was the source of her problems. Erica and Kwanna are not sisters. Erica was given up to the orphanage as a young child. Her mother is currently in prison. They met in the streets and now they are together as soul mates. They don’t have home and Kwanna’s mother’s house is their only choice until the pandemic gets under control. Her mother recently lost her job which hardly paid for anything. The family was involved in crime but now I believe that they are trying to take a different road. Getting food is a challenge. We help them whenever they are in center of the city where we live.

Our time together was brief. It was hard to have any profound conversation while wearing a mask. As we were talking, a homeless man came to us. Initially, I thought that he wanted some money. I was wrong. He told us that he had just received a donation of canned food. Apparently, it was too much for him and he wanted to know if we can use it. The girls accepted it and he was overjoyed. He came back with a bag full of canned food and even had some packed lunches he received as a donation. The girls refused the lunch as they had already eaten. Even though the man insisted, the girls refused because they thought that the food would not eaten right away and someone else might need it more.

The girls told us that they were keeping safe and that they will call us again next week. Our time together did not last more than half hour. However, it was enough to know this was the place that Jesus had prepared for us. We went back to talk to the homeless man for a few minutes. I asked him if he needed anything else besides food. He smiled and said, “I just need a strong drink.” Then he noticed our accent and asked us where we were from. I wasn’t in the mood to get into where we were from, besides he was way more interesting than our past travels. I told him that this city is our home and that’s why we are here. He really wanted to try out his broken Spanish. He made a faulty but yet powerful attempt to speak Spanish because he assumed that we were from the neighboring Spanish speaking countries. He said, “I am glad that someone like you has come to live in this place with us.”

This is how I am reassured again that the homeless children, teens, and adults of this city are the mansion that Jesus has prepared for us. This is where we feel at peace regardless of the chaos that ensues around us. This is where we discover what the Father’s mansion looks like.

When the Good Shepherd has brought out all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. They will not follow a stranger, but they will run from him because they do not know the voice of strangers. John 10:4-5

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10

We were able to meet some of the teens this last week albeit for a short period. Wallace needed his documents. We have some of their documents for safekeeping. As you can imagine, it is easy to lose these things in the streets. However, now the State is giving some financial assistance and Wallace needs his documents to get access to some aid during this quarantine. It was good to see Wallace again. It has been more than a month. His first reaction was to give us a hug. We had to refrain. It wasn’t easy. Expressing our affection is part and parcel of our relationship. It is hard to have this essential element of our relationship stripped away from us even though it is just temporary. At least, we hope that this is the case. Many things have changed. Wallace has realized this. Nevertheless, he hasn’t quite grasped everything. Most likely, he never will. He is a young adult but he has the simplicity and innocence of a young child. He just turned 22 recently. We had plans to celebrate his birthday in a nice bakery where he could order his favorite dessert. He was looking forward to it. Unfortunately, everything has changed since then.

With Wallace came Gabriel who is not much different from him. They share a simple way of looking at life. Initially, he wanted to hug us too but we told him that we need to be careful. He understood. We were getting ready to go home and Gabriel asked if he could walk with us for part of the way. I asked him what he thought about all the changes taking place. He did not know what to make of it. However, he said that he missed the days when we were all together….when everything was “normal… We missed these days too. We looked forward to being with the children and teens everyday. Meeting them brought joy and meaning to our life. Now, it is gone. We know that it is temporary and necessary. It feels like something permanent has taken place. Our foundations are shaken. Things that used to bring fulfillment and significance to our lives are suddenly no longer there. And what about abundant life? Can we find it in the midst of this?

Obviously, the appropriate answer to this question will be a resounding, “Yes!” However, we cannot accept this answer without careful reflection and honest questioning. Only then it can bring much needed comfort to our soul. We cannot resort to superficial optimism as well. Repeating mantras like all these things will pass soon. Well, nothing in this world whether good or bad is forever. To say that everything will eventually pass is stating the obvious. Saying everything will gradually go back to normal is also baseless and in some situations callous. Almost three thousand have died in the city of São Paulo from the virus and there is nothing to indicate that it will slow down. These people will be permanently missing in the lives of the relatives and friends. We desire that things to go back to normal because we, as human beings, don’t like changes. Nobody likes changes even a slight one means that we need to adjust ourselves to a new environment. We are right to dread changes. We cannot to go through something like a worldwide pandemic and expect everything to go back to normal. If anything, in order to move forward, we need to be courageous to face the truth. The life that we constructed and based our happiness upon is very fragile. It doesn’t take much to make everything come stumbling down.

We began this year hopeful. We were building new relationships and enjoying a deepening of our ministry. We never imagined that a microscopic organism was going to bring everything to a halt. This city has seen slavery, revolutions, civil and military dictatorship, gang violence, corrupt politicians and many atrocities. None of these things ever paralysed it. Despite all the immense social problems, people always had time to hug and kiss each other even a complete stranger, the way people shake hands in other countries. We thought that this year was going to be a year of stronger relationships with our children and teens. Now, we hardly see them. We sense an emptiness in our lives. They sense an emptiness in their lives. We are surrounded with people who are locked in their apartments with a sense of separation and anxiety. Everyday, we hear the news that tells us that this is not going to end soon. I know the appropriate answer to the previous question is, “Yes! There is abundant life in this absurd circumstance in which we find ourselves.” It is the Truth and does not change with situations. It is the one thing that remains. It is the one thing that is most difficult to see and grasp now. This is why we need to listen. It can be easy now because all the other voices that have been promising us the good and happy life seem to be weak and almost drowned in the silence of the quarantine. They are not the voice of the Good Shepherd. His voice always lingers on despite the chaos and hopelessness. Nothing silences His Voice.

Wallace wasn’t the only young adult we met this week. We still meet Felipe weekly. We help him with some of his groceries. He is having a hard time with the changes too. Like the rest, he always wants to hug us each time we meet. However, he knows that he has to think about the welfare of his infant son at home. He needs to be extra careful. I met Felipe by myself one day. I needed to go to the grocery store and I met him to give him some money for his necessities. Since I was going to go in a different direction, I said our goodbye almost immediately. However, he asked if he could walk with me part of the way. I can’t remember what we were talking about but it was interesting. We did not want our conversation to end. Then I spoke to him about “words”. To be precise, about reading. I am trying to get him into reading.

I told him that “words” have the power to make us create images in our minds and once we conjure up these images, the words become our very own. No one can steal this from us. I saw Felipe’s face lit up. He understood what I was saying. I shared my experience about reading the Bible or literary work and how it invite us to become part of new worlds through our imagination. It enables us put ourselves in the lives of others especially those who suffer and we can sense how they feel. I told him that watching a movie is different. We participate but only as spectators. We watch images conjured in someone else’s imagination. They don’t belong to us. We cannot own them. Then he wanted to share something that happened to him recently. On his way to his home after our last meeting, he saw a beggar and suddenly he felt in his heart something heavy and sad. He went into the grocery store and bought milk and sandwich for the man with the little money he had. He said when he gave the man these things, his heart was consumed by a sense of peace. As I listened to his story, I realized that abundant life is still here.

It wasn’t the action of Felipe that moved me. It was very loving and sensitive of him to share the little that he has with those who have less. This in itself is special. However, the Good Shepherd revealed something more profound at that precise moment to me. It is easy to confuse abundant life as amalgamation of functions or services but in reality, this is just an illusion. What we do does not constitute abundant life. It is about listening to the voice of the Good Shepherd. Felipe listened to the Shepherd’s voice and it brought him peace and life. Listening to the voice is not a single event in our lives. It is a daily practice. We can also drown His voice. It is still easy to do this. We can still try to seek voices which entice us to follow a path of self-destruction. This was the norm in this world and we might be tempted to keep things as they were. However, the Good Shepherd is here and He is calling us. When we harken to His voice, it will bring the peace and joy of the abundant life. Felipe wasn’t trying to listen to the voice of the Good Shepherd. He was just available for God to speak to him. Then, he heard his voice through the beggar. We don’t have to stress ourselves by trying to listen to God’s beckoning. We just need to be available to listen to His voice coming from sources where we least expect it.

Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” John 19:26-29

This particular episode disturbs many tender souls. It is not because of doubt. We can understand Thomas’ reaction to the news of the Resurrected Jesus. Most of us can easily identify with him. No reasonable person in their right mind would believe news like the Resurrection without some concrete evidence. What most people find disconcerting is the apostle’s ghastly request. He wants to put his finger in the wounds of Jesus. Some people tend to skip this part of the story. The details conjure up gruesome images in our minds. We live in a different reality than Thomas. He lived in a time where people were brutally executed in the presence of the crowd. Many times people were forced to watch the gruesome event. Death, blood and violence were integrated into the everyday life of Thomas. The people then were not as squeamish about things like that. They did not have the privilege of living in a sanitized environment safe from the raw brutality of life. Most of us are able to create barriers between us and these things. We are enjoy living in blissful ignorance and are happy to receive everything in a safe sanitized package beginning with our food and maybe even extending to our knowledge of the gospel. Thomas lived in harsher times. His doubts were perhaps harsher too. He needed to see everything in the raw. He was not going to settle for secondhand testimony which is, in reality, sanitized spirituality. He wanted to encounter personally the living Christ in flesh and blood whose body was bruised and tortured on the Cross. He wanted all his doubts to be erased directly by the Resurrected Christ. Thomas’ faith is not for the faint of heart. It is the kind of faith that demands our heart and soul. Underneath the doubts, there was a gradual faith brewing. It exploded at the moment of his encounter with the Lord. He was the first apostle to openly acknowledge the divinity of Jesus.

Jesus never rebuked Thomas. He told him that he did not need to doubt anymore. He understood. Doubting is the very essence of our being. It is impossible for us as human beings not to doubt. In this time of quarantine, I am constantly doubting everything. I am questioning if this is all necessary. I am not sure that we are doing enough. I am in doubt if this will ever end. There are scientific arguments to eradicate these doubts and yet I still have them. It is impossible to imagine trusting God whom we cannot see without doubting. Some claim that they never experience any doubts; I have met such people. I doubt their assertion. I think that they need to examine themselves.

Doubt does not mean that we don’t believe in God. Having faith does not mean believing in God. St James tells us that even the demons believe in God (James 2:19). Neither does faith have anything to do in believing the doctrines of the Christian religion nor any religion for that matter. There is a confusion about this. Sometimes I hear people who belong to a certain denomination who seem to be sure who is saved and who is not. All because their doctrine has given them this assurance. It claims to open locked doors which Jesus never opened for us. It is hard to explain what exactly is faith unless it is accompanied by doubts. We need to be honest with our doubts in order for us to be consumed by faith. In other words, faith is God’s answer to our doubts. However, if we never acknowledge our doubts, we won’t be expecting an answer from God.

Thomas had his doubts but he knew that God will answer them. The evidence is quite obvious. He stayed with the rest. At least, he was partially convinced that his doubts would be cleared. In a strange way, he had faith despite his doubts. He was not questioning whether Jesus was alive. He was questioning whether the Resurrected Jesus was going to reveal Himself to him. I think that this is the doubt of many saintly people. Usually they are the ones who doubt the most whether they are going to be part of God’s household. They know that God is good and able to anything. They are just not sure if God is willing to act in their lives. These people are saintly not because they are trying to get into heaven through good works. They are saintly because they realize that God has the complete freedom to do as He pleases. He has no obligation towards anyone.

I always thought that Felipe was saintly even when he was living in the streets. He was heavily addicted to drugs then. There were rumors that he even prostituted himself to survive. Despite all this, he was and is saintly. It is hard to explain. Recently, because of the quarantine, Felipe lost his job. Now, he was without any income for his family of five. He called me early in the morning to let me know what happened. He was not really upset. He just needed to share with someone. I told him not to worry. We were willing to help him. About an hour later, my childhood friend from Singapore called. God has graciously blessed our friendship by bringing us to live together in the same country after 30 years. He called to let me know that he and his wife felt in their spirit to help someone in these tough and strange times. They were thinking about Felipe specifically. Of course, they are know about him through our many conversations. Nevertheless, they were unaware that he had called early. They offered exactly what Felipe would have earned for three months. The timing was perfect. I met him later in the week and told him about it. He was silent for a while and then he said God has always put good people in his life to show that he is not forgotten. I recalled Felipe saying a similar thing when he was sleeping in the streets. He told me then that God always sends people to remind the homeless that He has not forgotten them. Perhaps, in the morning when Felipe called me, he had doubts about whether God has abandoned him. The answer came almost immediately. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes the answer takes ages. Most of the homeless will testify to this also including our young friend, Felipe.

Being saintly is not living without doubts. It is actually acknowledging that we are never sure if we are going to encounter the Resurrected Christ in a way that would erase all our doubts. However, despite this, we are still willing to wait in expectation. Thomas waited. Not only did he wait, he made some specific demands because he was honest about his doubts. He needed some concrete sensorial proof. In reality, this is the only way we as human beings can overcome our uncertainties. We need to know for sure with our senses. Doctrines and theories are great when nothing is at risk. However, when we confront our doubts, we need something concrete to help us cast them away. Thomas’ request was appropriate for his reality. On the other hand, we live in a different historic space and time. Jesus does not walk on earth in flesh and blood anymore. However, His Spirit is here. Felipe made this demand to see God in His life. The Spirit met him where he was. He became sensitive to the presence of the Spirit ever since he lived in the streets as a little child. This has sustained him all these years.

Today, we have a challenge before us. We are living a strange time with lots of uncertainties. We can no longer depend on sanitized faith. We need to touch the wounds of Jesus figuratively. It has to be very deep and personal. The world is in turmoil and we need to bring Hope into the conversation out there. However, the world has had enough of doctrines and philosophies. It needs something more real and palpable. Therefore, it is time for us to bring something real that we can encounter with our senses. It is time for us to put aside our imaginary inventions of faith and meet the living Resurrected Jesus. Our first step is to be honest with ourselves. We have to be willing to face our fears and doubts. At the same time we need to have some courage to wait for the Resurrected Christ to present Himself to us. We are not as privileged as Thomas. He got to touch the wounds of Jesus in person. We have to be a little bit more attentive. We need to be like Felipe and discern God’s voice in those around us.

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing. And they cast lots to divide his clothing-Luke 23:34

Recently, there was a scandal. A local doctor, who dedicated most of his life working among the imprisoned, did a short segment on a televised program on incarcerated transgendered felons. He interviewed them on their challenges and struggles being incarcerated in one of the most crowded prison systems in the world. One particular person shared that she found loneliness and isolation to be the most difficult thing to be deal with in prison. Her family had abandoned her. She has been in prison for 8 years and has never received a visitor. It is almost as if she has ceased to exist. The doctor moved by her thoughts asked if he could give her a hug. His spontaneous act inspired others to be compassionate. People started sending letters to this particular person. Unfortunately, a few weeks later, someone from a religious group took it upon herself to investigate and publicly expose all the details of the crime of this prisoner. Regardless to say, it was heinous and despicable in nature. The post claimed that this prisoner was not a human but indeed a demon. Not many would disagree with this after the reading the nature of the crime. Many, especially the religious people, took upon themselves to make sure that everyone knew about this. Like the doctor’s action, this negative campaign had a contagious effect. It inspired many to express their hatred and disdain towards the transgendered woman and the doctor. Suddenly, the doctor was portrayed as a villain for being insensitive to the victim’s family. The doctor decided to put an end to this. He made a video apologizing to the family even though he never did anything to offend anyone or condone any crime. Besides, he was not aware of the crimes of any of the people whom he interviewed. It was clear that he was emotionally devastated by the outcry. He said that he is a doctor to the prisoners and he knows that all of them have committed serious offenses. However, he is their doctor and not their judge. He hugged her because he thought that it was right thing to do at that moment. His sincere comments did not calm the furor of religious sector. I don’t usually follow scandals but the outcry was impossible to avoid. Unfortunately, I heard it through some of my friends who went to church regularly. They were scandalized by the doctor’s actions and claimed that he did something shameful. This is the world we live in presently. It is not very much different from the one where everyone yelled, “Crucify Him!”

They were the same ones who wanted Jesus to be crucified for not being all that they wanted Him to be. They are the ones who chose a murderer over Jesus. Not because they cared for the welfare of the former but because they hated Jesus. They did not understand Him even though they had acknowledged Him as their Messiah not too long ago. It didn’t take long for them to realize that He was not there to fulfill their personal and national projects. They realize that His will was not aligned with their will. He was not going to hate those whom they hate and favor those whom they favored. He was not going to speak the same language as the religious authorities of His time. He was a grand disappointment to the people and they could not forgive Him. He represented everything they hated and despised in this world. He was the opposite of them. They refused to forgive Him for being as such. Anyway, it was out of the question unless He showed them that He was able to do what they required. They demanded a sign from Him even as He hung on the Cross. They would forgive and believe Him if He showed them a sign. Their willingness to forgive came with a condition. In reality, it was not forgiveness at all.

In another time and another place Jesus said, “For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:20) One of the key elements that separates Jesus from the Pharisees is forgiveness. There was no room for forgiveness in the spirituality of the Pharisees. They were the most devout people in Jesus’ time. They never broke the Law. They never missed a sabbath. They were meticulous about their rituals and traditions. They even memorized the scriptures. We can be all these things and yet incite the crowds to shout, “Crucify Him!”

The reality is that if our spirituality does not exceed that of the Pharisees, the Kingdom of Heaven will be hell to us. It would be crowded with people that will make us feel uncomfortable. Jesus, throughout His ministry, has shown us that He invites those who are usually considered unworthy. He forgives without expecting repentance. In most cases, when the person understands what is being given to him or her, there is an inevitable change in their hearts. However, it is a change not for the world to see. The change may be obvious to us or it can be very subtle. The change is something personal within the soul of the person. It is impossible to receive God’s forgiveness without being changed or transformed. However, it is not impossible to receive His forgiveness and refuse to grant it to others. In this case, I am not sure if these people are like the Pharisees or worse. Maybe they are just just like those who shouted, “Crucify Him!”

In response to these words of hatred, Jesus responded, “Forgive them for they do not know what they do.”

Jesus did not say these words hoping that they would change their mind upon hearing them. The verses that follow this cry reveal that the people continued with their heinous activities without giving heed to His words. However, those closest to Him heard it. They knew a grave injustice has been committed. Like normal human beings, whenever we see such things, we can’t help but feel resentment and hatred building up in our hearts towards the perpetrators. However, we cannot allow these to take root in our hearts. If it happens, we will be just like the rest of the crowd. Forgiveness is the way. Jesus pronounced these words to reveal to us that God the Father is a God who forgives unconditionally. He has always been this forgiving God. Perhaps, it has not been clear throughout the stories written in the Bible. Nevertheless, Jesus makes it crystal clear that our God is a God who forgives unconditionally. If we want to follow in the footsteps of His Son whom He loved, then our path is a way of forgiveness. It is the mark that will separate us from those cried, “Crucify Him!” We have to forgive those who have allowed hatred to be their guide and motivator in this life. We have to learn to forgive without condition. This is impossible for us as humans. This is why we cry at the foot of the Cross. We don’t have the strength and courage to be like the One who hangs on this cursed wood. However, it doesn’t stop us from bringing our doctrines, ideology and convictions that promote hatred and unforgiveness to the foot of the Cross. Even then, we know deep down in our hearts that we are too weak to be like Him. All we can do is to look to Him and hear Him say that He forgives us too.